But always, without a doubt, I think of significant others. I think about the phrase "Don't settle." and I wonder if that is what am I doing. Can Prince Charming actually exist? Not in this fairy tale. So if I don't settle, will I only end up a spinster with scraggly fingers and thinning hair and decades worth of disappointment? Or is there someone at there who is better, more qualified, with less flaws and a better fit for my socially awkward/anxious, perfectionist, organizational brain?
The honest truth is I don't know. I don't know if I'm settling. I don't know if I should settle. I don't if I shouldn't. I don't really know what "don't settle" means because in the long run, doesn't it mean you never will and you'll end up alone with a heavy heart of hopelessness? Because if you never settle, it means never. It means forever. It means you never, ever, ever ever, ever (etc.) settle. Which means you won't settle for Prince Charming. Or even that poor, sad-eyed dog that just wants a warm place to sleep and something to eat and maybe your entire heart (metaphorically, I think).
But I guess when I look at his smile or the shine of his eyes and I think about all the laughs and the teasing and the jokes. I can ignore the flaws and little things that make my perfectionist person rage with unholy fire and brimstone. Instead, I think about all the adventures we've had and all the adventures we're going to have.
And suddenly, I don't care whether I've settled or not. Because that smile is worth it all.
My slimy frog is 23 now.